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和体育项目有关的幽默 |
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| 和体育项目有关的幽默 |
| 英语教育网 www.yingyu.com.cn 文章来源：转载 发表时间：2007-10-10 18:57:32 阅读次数： |
1．Agnes: My poor friend Lena has spent her whole life chasing men.
Abigail: Did she ever catch one?
Agnes: No, but she’s personally responsibly for several men qualifying for the Olympic track team.
Agnes：我可怜的朋友Lena一辈子都在追逐男人。
Abigail：她追上过吗？
Agnes：没有，但她个人要对几个有资格参加奥林匹克竞赛队的男人负责。
2．Mega: How do you like riding school?
Julie: It’s great! My horse is very polite.
Megan: A polite horse! What do you mean?
Julie: Whenever we come to a jump, he lets me go first.
Mega：你觉骑术学校怎么样？
Julie：非常棒，我的马非常有礼貌。
Mega：马有礼貌！你是什么意思？
Julie：每次我们来到跳跃（栏）时，它都让我先走。
3．Sam: A funny thing happened to me today. I was at the racetrack and bent over to tie my shoe, when some nearsighted jockey strapped saddle on my back.
Tom: Astonishing! What did you do?
Sam: What could I do? I ran the best race I could and came the third.
Sam：今天一件奇怪的事情发生在我身上，我在赛马跑道上弯腰系鞋带时，一个眼睛近视的骑师把马鞍子绑到了我背上。
Tom：真是让人称奇！你怎么做的？
Sam：我能做什么？我尽我所能跑了我最好的一场比赛，得了个第三。
4．Annie: Why are you running?
Danny: I’m trying to prevent a fight.
Annie: Between whom?
Danny: Between me and that bully chasing me.
Annie：你为什么跑？
Danny：我在设法阻止一场殴斗。
Annie：谁跟谁呢？
Danny：我和追我的那个流氓。
5．Horse owner: This horse is eight-years- old and he’s never raced before.
Jockey: How come?
Horse Owner: Well, we couldn’t catch him until he was seven.
马主：这匹马8岁了，他以前从来没有参加过比赛。
职业骑师：怎么会呢?
马主：它7岁以前我们抓不住它。
6．Driver number 1: Every time you race around one of those sharp curves when
you’re driving, I get scared.
Driver number 2: Then why don’t you do what I do and close your eyes?
司机1：你开车每次急转弯时我都吓死了。
司机2：为什么你不和我一样闭上眼睛呢?
7．I’m delighted to find after all these years that my tennis game has not deteriorated. It’s just as bad as before.
我很高兴这些年我的网球技术没有退化，还象以前那么臭。
8．家庭主妇：喂，Acme水暖部吗？赶紧过来，我家地下室水哗哗地漏！
Acme：对不起，我们要至少两天才能过去。
主妇：两天！我这段时间怎么办呢？
Acme：想法教孩子们游泳。
Housewife: Hello, Acme Plumbing? Come quick, I’ve got a huge leak in the basement!
Acme: Sorry, we can’t get there for at least two days.
Housewife: Two days! What’ll I do in the meantime?
Acme: Try teaching the kids to swim.
9．A Woman Without A Man Is Like A Fish Without A Bicycle.
没有男人的女人就象没有自行车的鱼。
幽默注释：鱼没有自行车对生活没有什么影响。
10．The most popular indoor sport this year is sleep.
最流行的室内运动是睡觉。
11．场景再现：美国棒球运动员说：
"People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000." -- Pete Incavigila, baseball player for the Texas Rangers.
人们都以为我们一年能挣三四百万，他们不知道我们大部分人一年只能挣50万美元。
幽默注释：他感觉自己还挺可怜，一年只能挣50万美元。
12．Fred: I’m going on a diet to improve my golf game.
Barney: How will losing weight help your game?
Fred: Because right now I can’t see the ball if I put it where I can hit it, and I can’t hit it if I put it where I can see it.
Fred：我要节食来提高我的高尔夫成绩。
Barney：减肥怎么能帮助高尔夫呢？
Fred：因为现在如果把把球放在我能击得着的地方，我就看不到球，如果把球放在我能看得见的地方我又击不着球。
幽默注释：肚子太大了真碍事儿。
13．场景再现：获得冠军的棒球队成员接受采访时解释他们获胜的原因：
Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical.
棒球90%要靠智力，其它一半要靠体力。
幽默注释：算术没学好，处处显摆自己头脑简单。
14．A boy kicked his football, and it landed in a chicken yard. The rooster
looked at its size and crowed to the hens, “Ladies, I don’t like to complain, but I wish you’d come over and take a look at what’s being done in other yards.”
一个男孩子踢足球，球落在了一个鸡舍里。公鸡看着它的大小，冲母鸡叫道，“女士，我不喜欢抱怨，但我希望你过来看看别的院子里人家都在做什么。”
15．I won’t comment on his golf game. Suffice it to say he loses an average of eight golf balls a game --- and when he does find one, it’s usually lying next to an
unconscious person.
我不评论他的高尔夫技术，他在一场比赛中平均丢8个球——好不容易找到一个球时，通常就在一个昏迷不醒的人旁边，这足够说明问题了。
幽默注释：打得高尔夫球乱飞。
16．Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock ball game.
医生求病人：帮帮忙好吗？你能最大声最痛苦地尖叫几声吗？
病人：为什么？医生，这次还不是那么糟糕?
医生：等得人太多了，我不想错过四点钟的球赛。
17．场景再现：你给同学讲一些人生无常、提防险恶的道理：
Life is like surfing, you might catch a good wave and it will be a fun ride, but watch out for those sharks.
生活就象冲浪，你可能赶上好浪，那会是一次有趣的航行，但要提防那些鲨鱼。
幽默注释：顺境时也要时刻防范不测发生。
18．The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
"Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide
程序员对儿子说，“我给你买了个新篮球。”
“谢谢你，爸爸，但使用说明书呢？”
幽默注释：儿子受了老爸很大的影响。
19．No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
自己的球队胜利后，谁也不说“那就是场游戏”。
幽默注释：自己的球队失利后，你们相互安慰：这就是场游戏，又不输房子输地。但当自己的球队胜利后，欣喜若狂。
20．When the game is finished, the king and the pawn go into to the same box.
游戏结束时，国王和士兵进入同一个盒子。
幽默注释：人生就象一场游戏，游戏结束时，亿万富翁也好，平头百姓也好都进入一样大小的棺材（或骨灰盒）。 |
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